You may have seen this come around as a joke, but there are some valid points in there…

I was going to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year but I made the mistake of running it past my Lawyer friend. It turns out that this issue is much more complicated than I thought. Who would have thought?! Anyway, here it is:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .
A N D
A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have made the US great, (not to imply that the US is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only “US” in the western hemisphere,) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.