…I want to get off.
Sometimes it just feels so pointless. I mean a prime example this week is I put some effort into fixing a problem because I felt it was important to the service and it was important to me. This work was then deliberately broken yesterday. A project was put live with full knowledge it was broken. Nice huh, I tell you it really made me feel good. What made me feel even better was I get to now fix this new problem, although I was successful in getting it pulled till fixes could be put into place.
It just seems all so pointless. I feel like I’m just being ignored, well ignored isn’t the right word, probably better to say not listened to and it feels shit. I’m suppose to be listened to, at the very least because of my job and lets face it my not insignificant technical knowledge in that area is a bonus. Fuck it tho, its another example of what is the point.
Thinking back to a previous life, having someone who by every possible definition of the word was incompetent was probably damn good thing for the team. It covered so much, for me anyway. I never noticed anything else and I have to wonder how much of a distraction this situation was for others. I suspect that in the long run it did a lot, and I have to think that is a very bad thing. I wonder how things would have been different. Back then I worked for a company that tolerated incompetence and then some. Good things I moved on from there eh?
Moving swiftly along, on the good news front I am really starting to feel more comfortable on the calls, I still feel out of my depth but that’s less and less every time. I’m actually looking forward to some calls these days which I have to take as a good sign.
And finally, I can’t write. I accept that but you know what, I want to. So I’m gonna go write some. I doubt you’ll see it here, certainly a year ago you never would have heard of it but maybe. We’ll see how it goes. I have an idea that I want to work with and I’m slowly building on it, its just the actually writing it all out that is the pain so instead of stating more of the obvious I’m gonna go and give it a try.