While it would not be entirely fair to say I am glad England are out, I am damn glad they are not through to the next round. That would make living in this hell even worse.

Charming

Seemingly this is how we invite people out for a quick pint on the third floor these days
“Oi cunto u going for a pint tonight?”

Of coure my reply did include the word “pigfucker”

My Wallet

Well, because I know how bored you are and this will be the highlight of your day. I have decided to share my wallet with you.
My wallet is black, made from leather and came from Allders. It currently contains:

£20 (two x £10)
3 Credit Cards (1 x Egg, 1 x Barclaycard, 1 x Capital One)
2 Solo Cards (1 x main account 1 x savings account)
1 British Airways Executive Club card
1 Lifetime Cinema membership card(Prince Charles, Leicester Square)
1 Blockbuster membership card (Clapham Junction)
1 Game loyalty card
1 current travelcard
1 photocard
3 old travelcards
10 of my business cards.

That is all. I hope you enjoyed your time reading this and take away fond memories.

Are you having fun?

Unless I go and fill out this form I am prohibited from linking to anything on the NPR.org website.

Now thats a joke.

This on the other handy is funny
King told police he saw a man and woman having sex in the alley and asked them, “Are you having fun?”

Police said Joseph Sivertsen responded by picking up a 2-foot-long piece of metal pipe from a nearby construction site and running after King. He is accused of hitting King at least six times with the pipe, causing severe bleeding and injury to his face, arms and hands.
Anchorage Daily News

and this one I am sure will surprise someone…just not me.

Most young people in the UK are ashamed to be British, take drugs and think they should be legalised and would like to leave the country altogether, according to a new poll.
It found 65% of young Britons have felt ashamed to be British, with 20% saying violence and hooliganism were to blame.

Ananova.

I haven’t had a massage in a couple of weeks so the one just there was really nice 🙂

*sigh*

I have no idea what I should be doing to fix this bug. There are three which all boil down to the same thing and I can’t even figure out where to start. I think its just because of the large gap in my knowledge about what the fuck it is I’m actually doing but it is very frustrating.

My flatmate bought a PS2 over the weekend with a couple of good games. I never took for her a game player but I’m not complaining. On the subject of games I am really enjoying Spider-Man. Its a damn good adaptation.

I will be sorting out some things over the next few days, starting with getting my room and my desk and other space sorted out into some sort of neatish order. All I need are shelves to get my books, cds and dvds out of the way and then things will look so much better at home.

I have this nagging feeling that I just need to sort some things out and quick. Maybe this weekend, afterall I don’t get paid till Monday so it needs to be a cheap weekend anyway.

Relax, this is your captain speaking

On a recent United Airlines flight from Chicago to Washington, D.C., Capt. David Miller stepped from the cockpit to speak to his passengers, who included Tribune reporter Jeff Zeleny. Here is what the captain said.

“I am the captain for your flight to Washington, D.C. I am back in the cabin to talk to you before we leave, rather than from the cockpit. I think under the events of the last year or so, it’s more [effective] for me to make my announcement from this vantage point rather than from the front.

“I know most of you are busy reading those safety information cards right now. (Laughter) I would ask you to put those aside while I cover some things for the flight that I think are important.

“First of all, everyone is welcome on this flight. You have been through the security system outside. I feel your pain. I have to go through it myself a lot. I know what it’s like–inconsistencies, long lines, maybe you weren’t treated as courteously as you deserved to be. You probably had to wait awhile.

“We recognize that. We thank you for your patience with that. Keep in mind, those folks are under a lot of scrutiny out there. They are under a lot of pressure. They are trying to do a good job. It’s an important job right now, so we will cut them a little slack if you weren’t treated quite the way you were deserved to be treated through that process.

“Second of all, I would like to let you know that I have six children. My wife says she has seven. Use your imagination on that. I did have a first-class passenger look at me and say, `You have 13 kids?’ His wife had to explain it to him. (Laughter)

“I have a personal interest in getting you where you are going, just as much as getting there. But you are intelligent folks. You know that this is not the same type of operation it was before Sept. 11. Especially going into Washington. We have some special procedures that are mandated by the FAA that I need to emphasize today.

“First of all, when you are in that seat with that seatbelt sign on, please don’t leave your seat at any time. I will get that seatbelt sign off as soon as possible after we leave, because the last 30 minutes of the flight I have to have it on, by FAA directive. If you leave your seat at that time, I have to divert the aircraft to another airport, so it’s a serious matter. If it is reported to me that you are out of the seat, I will have no choice in the situation.

“The next thing I would like to emphasize to you is that I lost a friend of mine, a United captain, in the terrorist attack on Sept. 11. Maybe some of you have been touched by those events, either directly or indirectly. Or maybe you have flown a lot and you might be apprehensive about flying. That’s understandable–it’s human nature.

“Keep in mind: Sometimes under those circumstances you might be tempted to let off a little emotional energy by making a joke or saying something you think is humorous. Be careful what you say. When you say something that is the least bit provocative and a flight attendant hears it or a passenger hears it and it’s reported to me, I will have no choice. I will have to land the airplane at the nearest suitable field, and you’ll probably be handcuffed, arrested and taken off the airplane.

“I know that sounds pretty heavy-handed, but I don’t want anybody to be under any misconceptions as to how we will handle that kind of thing because we have to take those issues seriously.

“This aircraft is equipped with a safety door, a security door, it has a steel bar on the door. Down at the bottom of that door is a metal strip that runs across the floor. That’s a demilitarized zone. A part of your body crosses that line, it’s mine. You are not going to get it back in the same condition that it crossed that line in. If you keep all of your body parts over here, I’ll keep mine up there, and we will all be good neighbors that way.

“As I am looking back through the aircraft, I don’t see any empty seats. First class is full. I guess we’re going to make some money on this flight.

“We recognize that you are here because you trust us.

“We are not going to take your safety for granted. We are also not going to take your business for granted. I am not sure that we have done a very good job of this in the past, so one of the reasons I wanted to come back and talk to you personally was to let you know that we may be employees of United Airlines, but we work for you.

“You are the most important reasons we are here. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have a job. And I couldn’t afford 13 kids. I recognize that personally. Please accept a personal thank you, from me to you, for being customers of United Airlines.”

(Applause)
Chicago Tribune