You know I’m surprised computers are not responsible for more suicides. I just lost a posting because the entire machine locked up. It was a good posting it was important to me and loosing it was never going to bring me to tears but it was closer than most other things.

To recover a little.

Timing is a funny thing. I can think of a few times off the top of my head when this would have been at the least better if not outright a good thing.
i) When I wasn’t single. Had this happened during my last relationship it would probably have been the catalyst for us actually moving in and who knows what would have happened then.
ii) When I was considering a job in Dulles about 15 months ago. I suspect this would have prompted me to take it.
iii) About three weeks ago when one of my good friends was looking to rent out his old place and another good friend was looking for a flatmate.

There always seems to be someone on the V in a living flux, guess it’s my turn. But I can think of two offhand who have moved and one even in this area, so a Dave asks the questions thread might be helpful. It’s something to do anyway.

I was talking to a friend earlier tonight, I was trying to explain something to her and I don’t think I did a very good job so I’ll just go into some of the details of were the thoughts came from. Until about 18 months ago I had a best friend. I have many good friends (more than I have previously thought – stupidly as usual) but I don’t have someone who fits that spot. There are a few contenders for sure, but the most notable ones live too far away and that’s always going to leave the gap there. The reasons I don’t have one are silly, and that’s a bad part of the tale but there are times when it’s the silly things that is all there is and you have to just go with it…or without it. It would nice to have that roll filled.

I hate computers. That was so much better written the first time around, I was happy with it, it was flowing and made sense. It wasn’t a vague paragraph written for the sake of rewriting it, it was what I was thinking and it worked. Now it doesn’t. Fuck.

Weekend plans are quiet. I need to save some money and fast so that curbs a lot of things. I need to catch up on some sleep and I need to watch some Angel. Having a new episode is a good thing…no really it is and Bit Torrent rocks hard. I had planned on watching it tonight but I did lots of blood bowling instead, it was the wrong choice.

I’m gonna need to take some time off to move and to pack and to clean and to find a place and I have no idea how that is going to work out. I’d like it all to be sorted by a certain date but I have no idea how that is gonna work out which I guess is life, I just don’t know how it is gonna work out.

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. I hate it, I don’t ever want to do it but I probably do it more than I would like to.

I sense the hand of the ghost of RCFC in this. That started something for me and it’s all coming from that, maybe it didn’t start but it opened something. It’s been a major force for thought and indeed for communication over the past 10 days or so and it looks likely to continue to be a force on me for a while longer.

God I need to catch up on sleep. That’s one plan for the weekend. I’ve just been talking to my dad over AIM who tells me that I need to go out and have some “social interaction with real people”, I think the irony of this line was lost on him. I have 92 nicks on my personal buddy list and 197 on my work list (I culled it recently). There is some over lapping sure and yes in fact every one of them is not necessarily a real person but well over 90% of them are. It amuses me.

Live music is the best thing in the world, there really is nothing better. Music which makes you scream it out is music at it’s best. I’ve wondered what the reaction would be on the bus or the train when the chorus comes and the urge is there to just go for it. I came home this evening, sat down in the living room and put a cd on pretty loud.

I wish I knew how to use a camera. I really would love to be able to take good photos. I wish I could actually carry my camera and take photos and do something with them. I’m just not good enough.

Fuck it, sleep time.