Month: October 2003

I miss my PDA a lot right now.

common – rebel – collapse- Y – nation – tone

Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold.

W.B. Yeats wrote those words as part of his poem; The Second Coming. He was talking about the end of the world, the beast is “Slouching towards Bethlehem”. My world just feels a little like it’s falling apart. It’s just a first bad reaction but then, that’s the way it is. I don’t know anything about flat hunting. I fell on my feet so well when I moved over here. I got an ad on a joke listserv, I replied, I got the room, I moved in. That took about a week. Now I have not got a clue 🙁

I don’t know what I’m going to do other than start looking and even then I don’t know where to start. I’m more and more thinking I want to live on my own and then more and more thinking that I don’t. I just don’t know. I don’t want to live with someone I don’t know…I don’t want to live with someone I know. Kinda leaves me nowhere right?

The timing on this sucks badly. Iain bought a new place recently and was renting out his old place…it’s now gone. Nick moved into his new place over the weekend and Andy moved into his new place about a month ago. Timing sucks badly 🙁

On a whole other note. When I was about 8 I went to visit some of my cousins with the rest of my family. They had just bought a CD player. At the time this was pretty new and I remember being well impressed by it. I could not get over the fact that you did not have to fast forward or rewind, just press a button and it would take you to the next song. It’s one of my stronger memories of childhood (I guess) and it still makes me think of little things in awe.

When I was first getting into music I use to tape songs off the radio and make my own mix tapes. They were in a series and were imaginatively called “Radio Compilations”. They reached 12 volumes, some absolute shite on there but some classics aswell. I’ll leave you to decide which was which but 2 Unlimited’s No Limit was one of the first songs I taped.

So now I’m stressed…well I’m not quite yet but I’m starting to be stressed knowing that I will be stressed. It’s not good. I’ve never actually had to move except that once to London. I’ve got so much stuff and I have no idea how I am going to get it all sorted and ready to go in anytime nevermind in as short a time as possible.

So now what?

Well, I have to start looking for somewhere to live and indeed think about someone to live with or see if I can afford somewhere on my own. I don’t know which I would prefer anymore, both have their pros and cons. Thinking about who aswell, I’ve got a couple of people in work who may be looking for somewhere new but I’m not sure I want to live with them.

*sigh*

I have to clean, pack, sort, organise and so many other things and I don’t even know where to begin. I guess finding somewhere is the most important and then worry about getting my stuff moved into it. That more than likely means hiring a man with a van and worrying about all that and fuck it I just don’t know.

Fuck it. *sigh* So much extra stress when right now I could so have done without it. Everything was just falling together into place and then of course boom, blown out of the water.

Now it turns out that there has been some power issues in the office and there will be again tonight. So my nice little mail server might have a couple of hiccups and I might not get any email and be unsubscribed from about 30 mailing lists. This is not good.

I’ve not walked back into too much otherwise in work and I’m all done on the project which was hassleing me so that’s all good. I could do with a little less stress.

On Monday afternoon I met Jean for coffee. The last time we met was in the summer of ’99 and she moved off to Galway. Then in early 2000 I moved to London. So we caught up. It was good, we had some coffee and then went for a quick dinner. It was of course a little ackward but that was to be expected I guess. Talked about a lot of things, certainly not like the conversations that we use to have. I think we both changed a lot and also didn’t change all that much. I’m very glad we met up and for now I’ll leave that one at that.