Month: December 2004

Tonight you get lucky. No typing from me.

I managed to pour an entire glass of coke into my keyboard and unsurprisingly it’s not doing so well.

fuck.

Readyhosting don’t support .htaccess. Bastards. The more I use them, the less impressed I am. I only just re-upped for a year a couple of weeks ago.

– I bought Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines early last week. It was down to a whole £9.98 in Game. Well worth it, I’m about 3/4 of the way through and enjoying it a good bit. Should finish it (while very hungover) this coming weekend and it’ll easily have been good value for money.
– Lots of drinks this week. A quiet evening on Monday with Andrew, Alastair, Doug and his sister. The Ship was unfortunatly closed the evening ended upstairs in Waxy’s Little Sister which is one of the better pubs in London. Lots more drinks yesterday with added Mongolian Barbecue for dinner which was really quite nice.
– Robot Fist is going up tomorrow one way or another. Don’t seem to be getting anywhere at all with missing articles so unfortunatly they’ll have to wait. I’m slightly confused, bemused and I don’t know a word for annoyed which nicely ends in “used” but that too. Had I known there would be an entire extra month to play around I’d have happily taken the time to add some sort of a CMS. I’m hoping that the next issue will solve all of the problems of this one but so far I’ve not seen anything about it. It’s a strange one that one. Anyway it’s going up tomorrow complete or not. Too many things have conspired against it to date and it’s not slipping into next year. Annoying to say the least.
– Bored now. I’ve been playing with a pen drive I finally got around to picking up. Slightly annoyed that in work it’ll be picked up as E and home it’s going to be F so I’m not sure how I’m going to get mail profiles and that setup. May just mount a drive here and ignore it. So far it’s running Tbird, Firefox, Trillian 3 and the nice new Mozilla Sunbird. I’m shit at staying organised for dates and I’ve not managed to find a shared calendar for home and work that has everything I want. So now I’m just going to carry it with me.
– Moved to Firefox almost completly. I have to use IE to get into my bank but that’s not so bad. I don’t like the lack of flexability within the toolbars. One thing I like in IE a lot is the ability to move the toolbars around and stack them. The less space they take up the better. Still that’s a minor complaint.
– I’m actaully under deadline pressure here in work. I may be about to seriously blow one. I really really need to get replies to my emails before the end of the day preferably but week would be better…
– I’m thinking that I’m in the market for a new MMPORG. Not so sure on keeping on in Eve but as I’ve just finished Cruiser V today I may well play with that for a while. Not sure what else there is that jumps out. Gonna see if I can get into the final EU Beta for World of Warcraft and see how another few hours play go but I’m not sold on it at all at the moment.
– I have to clean up tonight as my flatmate gets back tomorrow. By clean up I think I just need to wash some dishes and hoover. Although that said, it’s all a waste of time as the place will be a state by Saturday morning.
– World helps – but will it forget? Will it remember may be a better question. A good article.

still within reach?

“I dreamed I could see the mathematics of everything, and figured out how to fly”

A friend used that on her LJ to describe a dream recently. It’s a lovely idea and it’s stuck with me a bit today. I slept really badly last night.

Rewinding back a few hours, I was very bored and quite relieved to get a text with an offer of drinks. So into town a pleasant quiet evening with a few drinks. All good until I went to bed. That was around 1am, at 8am I’d slept for spurts of minutes here and there but I remember seeing all of the hours on the clock beside my bed. I blame Hebe for some of them, I had to get up to stop her barking at least twice.

Before that, I had a revelation. I actually got out of bed and ran to my computer to type out a quick message to make sure I would remember it. I do and I’ve been thinking about it. It’s not the biggest revelation in the world but it hit me pretty hard.

Loneliness is a huge driving factor, much more than I had ever considered it before. Is a permutation of this being so needy and self-centered? In hindsight it explains a whole hell of a lot. Can it go so far and get so bad to push some qualities to the forefront and even more so to push others into the background? I’m starting to think that not only it is possible but that’s exactly what happened.

It was a strange night for thoughts, that one was with me for hours. I nearly got out of bed again later to act on it, to bounce it off someone and to see if I was in anyway in the right area. The more I think about it, the more I don’t need to, that’s just how it was.

Forewarned is forearmed?

why wait any longer for the world to begin?

What matters more the journey or the destination?
If I don’t know what the destination is, is there anything other than the journey?

I don’t have goals, I don’t know what my destination is. It’s been a couple of years since I had a definitive goal. Even then it wasn’t all that big in the grand story of life. It was to get into my current job and I did it. Now a days I don’t know where I want to move onto from this job short, medium or long term. The only job that I really wanted, I didn’t get.

There was something different about that one, I’m not sure what. I think it was a chance to actually do something of my own. I’m fairly limited in what I can do now, that was less so. Still spilt milk and all that.

I want to be able to speak another language. French in particular although I would like to be able to speak Irish too. The latter is for similar romantic notions which I touched on recently, the latter well a smidge of that but a whole lot of hope that it would open up a lot more things for me.

People with languages constantly impress me. My parents have fluent Irish and French (my mother to Masters level). My sister has Irish, French and Japanese with Chinese on the way. My sister, I still can’t believe that one at times. I have a smidgen of Irish and French, far less than I should have given my 12 years of studying them. 12 fucking years and I have almost nothing to show. The one thing I do have is a foundation, I just need to get myself together and build on it. That’s a goal I guess.

I’ve been trying to think of things which have changed this year and I can’t I can sum up the end of year memes with same shit, different year. The highlights are my friends without a doubt. Cementing rediscovered friendships and a couple of others going well but of course a couple more getting that bit further away. Such is life I guess.

I’ve written a whole lot, I’ll bet my blogging for the year is the most to date. That’s a good time to remind myself to back it all up. Absolute horror story of a friend loosing years worth of material just a few days ago. While I rarely re-read it, that would just devastate me. So the FTP is going on it’s merry way.

I haven’t had much to say lately. There has been a whole lot going on and a week of not feeling so good conspired to keep me down in the dumps and not in a writing mood. I’m not quite out of them yet, hell I’m not even sure there is an easy way out but I’ve been meaning to type some stuff for a few days.

I miss living in Battersea sometimes. Around here if I want to go for a walk late at night, there just isn’t a nice option. There was more than one night where I could walk out my front door and be walking alongside the river within 2 minutes. Load up my discman and more than once I found myself at Westminster or even up to Leicester Square. There isn’t anything so nice around here, at least not that I have found.

And now as I’ve wandered way off track, I’m going to sleep.

The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

After many run-offs over the year the V has come up with one last poll to determine The Best Song Ever.

The options are:
“Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl
“Fight the Power” – Public Enemy
“Heroes” – David Bowie
“Paint It Black” – The Rolling Stones
“Ring of Fire” – Johnny Cash

I despair.

***
In other news I really hate the CD lab at the moment.