People, people are perhaps my biggest problem in the world.
Over the last couple of nights I’ve been pinging something off some friends. I’m worried about something or at least I was, and I was very worried about it.
I’m not so much now, it struck me this evening that perhaps, through it all, I was just worrying too much to notice that I’m actually doing it and dealing with it just fine. The only problem I have with the way I’m dealing with it is that I’m worrying too much about it.
Before any cries about self-confidence, even leaving all that aside for a while, people are not always that hard. I’m coming to rely more and more on the phone than on email and IM which is good. It’s easier sometimes to talk to people, I mentioned last week about flat words on paper and fuck if that isn’t causing me such a headache in an IM conversation right now.
Of course, it’s easier sometimes to have a papertrail. That depends a lot on the people and the situation I guess. I’m not finding I need it as much as I had expected. It’s all about making your case and backing it up and if it comes down to it,and this is something I struggled with, tell someone what to do.
Of course, you can’t always just tell them, even if you should be able to 😉
I’ve learnt a lot lately, I’ve also learnt a lot about myself. I am still annoyed I was not given the chance before now but now that I have been, I know that I’ve proved myself and I’ve proved some things to myself. Now I just need to stress less and worry less and carry on getting it done.
I’m kind of using this as an aside to try and order some thoughts while in a difficult IM conversation with a friend. It’s helping a little but not enough. Friendships come and go, I believe that most are worth fighting for. Friends are important, they are one of the few things in life that we do have complete choice over. Sure there are times when you loose the fight but that’s not a reason to give up the greater fight. The fight that is life and love and everything around that. Blah, I can’t write to save my fucking life. It’s hard enough trying to do it to save a friendship but like a lot of things in life, it’s worth the fight.
I ended a friendship once. In a somewhat similar way to a situation that I’m in the midst of at the moment. I don’t regret the loss of the friendship in particular, not any more than the loss of a good friend which is a loss. I do regret the way that I handled it. I’ve been trying to tell some of the people involved that but it’s a struggle. At the end of the day, everyone deserves to be treated with a level of respect. I regret not doing that I regret seeing it happen to someone and I regret it for the sake of people I held to higher than that.
*sigh*
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The BBC have one of the stupidest headlines up I’ve seen in a long time: UK prefers broadband to dial-up