ok, slight edits, more later I’m sure.
Paranoia, it fills the air. I’ve no idea what happened, Thursday night was a good night. I was out with two old friends and we were as usual talking about times past. Some of it was eye-opening, some of it wasn’t so. Most of it was good and then for some reason something changed. I don’t know what it was. It may have just been the late hour and the few drinks but all of a sudden something was wrong. I still can’t put my finger on it. It changed the tone of the weekend a little bit.
Seems like things were always way more complicated way back when. I suppose it was to be expected given the small little dysfunctional group we had. Secrets on every side, mostly the small things which mean so much at that age. But underneath at times a darker side. Everyone knew about that side and some of us tried to do something about it but at the end of the day we didn’t manage to do very much and I guess being honest we didn’t try that hard. Who knew that fighting over cinema seats could involve so much? One of the girls called it an incestuous little group and looking back, man that fits that fits so much.
Hindsight isn’t 20/20 but it’s always possible that what went before can be moved into that 20/20 vision. I don’t fully believe that it can. I think with hindsight, some more things might make sense but I don’t think a flat statement can be made. Of course I’m only talking about a specific case here.
I wonder why it’s sometimes so hard to carry on a conversation. Sometimes I know why it’s so hard but other times when it should be the easiest thing in the world to answer and it’s not like the conversation hadn’t covered things just as serious if not more so. I guess it’s just that the past is sometimes easier to express in words than the present or even more so, the future.
Sometimes I wonder if I miss things. I’m really wondering if I did here. In hindsight, even more so. I wonder if I was set-up for something and I failed. Not in anyway maliciously it must be said but it feels like that a little bit.
Anyway three of us sitting here lateish and drinking and chatting away. I was taken aback completely to be told by one of the girls that she thought the other one and myself could/should/would be paired off. Just a little taken aback. Way back when, the first time around I don’t think I ever even noticed her. I had eyes for just one person and literally didn’t even notice anyone else. I could, indeed anyone could do far worse but I don’t know where that one came from.
Ah yes, we had a conversation about the old friend that I referenced earlier in the week. Quite a conversation as it happens and while it may well be unfair to have such a thing, we did manage to agree on a few things and of course disagree on a few others. As it turns out, one of the big ones is the same across the board and judging from what I hear recently it’s still valid. Whole lots of us have grown up, whole other lots should have already been. Not a fun conversation really and I guess it has answered my question for a while, tho I couldn’t at the time. It took a little update last night. Ah well.
Hmm strange one there. Many things are.
Friday afternoon was interesting in many ways. Lunch with a friend and then onto Jervis Street for some shopping. You know the way that you suddenly realse you’ve walked past someone you know? Well it was one of those moments. Even more so when I realised who it was. Long story short, it lead to coffee and 80’s cartoon trivia and general talking. It also lead to the exchanging of telephone numbers. 10 years ago (not quite but close enough), I’d have done anything I could to get a hold of that..bar ya know asking. Then all of a sudden I’m being asked. The world has gone mad, mad I tell you.
Saturday night, I took my sister to see The Incredibles. I enjoyed it even more the second time around. The pacing had seemed a little uneven and slow the first time, but this was perfect. Again FroZone steals it as perhaps he is intended to and yes it does have a huge emotional impact once or twice. The short before it is still glorious and despite being something I should hate, is in fact a thing of joy.