words XXIV – Page 112

have gun will travel

Do you ever feel like if you could just talk to someone and say the words then it would all be ok?

Of course you do, we all do. I use to think I was unique, but I know better than that. It’s a pretty common thought from what I know and it applies across the board. If only you can communicate your thoughts then everything will be fine.

A world like that would indeed be a finer world.

did you understand me right
the people here are good
they tell me what i should have done
and offer what i could
i’m good all is good
all’s well no complaints
when i feel regret
i get down on my knees and pray
i’m sorry so sorry

i live a simple life
unfettered by complex sweets
you think this isn’t me
don’t be weak
there i go
i’m so sorry

thank you for being there for me
thank you for listening goodbye
i can forfeit selfishness
i hope for you that you apply
this happiness
this peacefulness
i’m sorry so sorry

i live a simple life
unfettered by complex sweets
you think this isn’t me
that’s so sweet
i’m so sorry

The Apologist by R.E.M.

A quote from that was the random choice across the top when I checked my last post had published ok. It seemed so very appropriate.

I’m rebelling against music a lot this week. I’ve not had a chance to listen to anything in work as I’ve been working in the CD lab for most of the week. My computer won’t play music and when I do get to listen to stuff I can’t listen to it for too long without feeling the need for silence. It is quite a strange feeling. I’m listening to Ryan Adams’ Gold while I’m reading downstairs and it’s doing allright so far. Might be mild enough to keep going but I must admit I was much more caught up in the music. I’ve just read the six issue mini Spider-Man: Blue from Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale. I had been wondering what the ‘blue’ was in relation to and when they out and said it at the end it got to me a little and reminded me of a few things.

Oh I’ve mentioned this before I think but I’m going to mention it again. Alex Maleev is one of the best artists in the business these days. Someday in the future I am going to own some of his original artwork for Daredevil and it will hang on my wall with great pride.

Live like the automatic

Last night was kinda strange. There was the usual group and then some down the pub taken over a large corner to raise some drinks to a departing friend. There was talking, laughing and of course outragous flirting…same as usual then.

Some planning going on too, Glastonbury tickets go on sale on Monday and a group of us are planning on going together. Then it looks like a week later pretty much the same group will be off to Stockholm for a stag night. That I expect will be a heavy weekend.

Just watched Angel 4×16 ‘Players’, it wasn’t bad. Nice to see Gwen back and a decent little plot for her but I could have done without the Gunn ending. I do wonder how next weeks episode will start. I was pretty sure we were watching Lorne’s death scene and I am quite glad we were not.

I want to go out and do something but I don’t know what. I think I wante to go to the cinema and see something but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to meet anyone today. I’ve not spent much time on my own in a while and I’m thinking it would be a good thing to do. Perhaps I shall jump on a bus into town in a while and just see what happens. I do want to pick up a single out from Hope of the States whom I saw live a couple of times recently.

Oh yes, my day off yesterday. Well it wasn’t as off as I liked I ended up in the office dealing with some stuff in the afternoon and could possibly have to do the same on Monday. So aswell as seeing everyone in the pub last night, I saw many people in work too. Yipee.

Oh something I think I should state (perhaps more for my own benefit) and I’m sure there is a quote I know that covers it but I can’t think of it right now. So anyway people don’t always see the same things the same way and just because you see it one way doesn’t mean anyone else will.

You know that the world has gone mad when the best rapper is White, the best golfer is Black, the French are accusing the Americans of arrogance, and the Germans don’t want to go to war.

Gah and things go from bad to worse.

I have just been out, I have got food and a couple of comics. Both were urgently required.

Tonight I am going to a leaveing do for one of the girls from work. She is off back home to the US. It has the potential to be a long and rough night. Not for me I don’t think so tonight.

I watched Buffy 7×17 this morning. It wasn’t bad. The Spike / Wood thing played out quite nicely. The Mac was a lovely little touch. going to go do some reading now and leave Angel downloading.

I am so very glad I have Monday off. I do have to be up at 9am in order to get Glastonbury tickets but nevertheless I don’t have to go to work for the day and I can lie around doing nothing. This is often a good thing.

*sigh*

fuck it all to hell. Now I’m second guessing myself and wondering if I am in fact a complete muppet.
And if, if I am, then I need to change something quickly before I become such a hypocrite…

someone tell me why I do the things, that I don’t want to do?

My head hurts so much right now.

I don’t understand anything. Nothing makes sense and last night was a really really really shit night.

I have to buy a suit.

That was some good news to start the day off with.

*sigh*
I’m annoyed with a lot of people right now. Some more than others and of course myself more than others.

Gah. I don’t even know where to begin. Well, actually I do. ‘Gah’ was introduced to my vocabulary by Iain and it is entirely his fault that it has stuck.

I’m not discussing lunch today here…for a while anyway, but fuck it was an expierence and one I hope to never repeat. It scared me quite badly.

I feel the need to point something out, just in case. Despite anything I may have ever said about my job or the people I work with, I would like to say for the record and with complete sincerity there are a number of people whom I love and respect and would do anything I could for.

The answer to any number of questions is ‘I don’t know’. I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff tonight and I just don’t know.

I am not doing too great, somethings have hit…I’d like to said harder than I expected but that would not be true. They have hit hard and I’m not sure how I’m really feeling, perhaps reeling would be a better word even if it is less accurate. *sigh* No-one ever said the world was fair and I guess I can’t really say a break would be nice every now and again, maybe I’ve already had mine.

Sleep now, computer is staying on and hopefully online overnight for new Buffy and new Radiohead tracks to download (fingers crossed), goodnight all and tread softly.