words XXIV

Slept in late today. I have 2.5 days which I have to take off work by the end of the year so I took the 0.5 today to let me stay in bed. It was good. Went into work and then grabbed a bite to eat with a friend before doing some very quick food shopping and coming home. My flatmate has just picked up Grand Theft Auto: Vice City…and is going away for a week at the weekend.

On the bad news front, I think I have a cold of some sort coming on.

There has been a question forming at the back of my mind for a while now. I had a thought earlier this evening which seemed to come from out of nowhere but if you join all the dots up I think it all makes sense. The question can be phrased a couple of ways. Neither way is accurate but the sentiment is. If they could be combined into one sentence, I suspect it would all make sense. The thoughts are:
Who do we have to live up to?
Why do we do the things we do?
Yes, right now for the line of thought that has been forming, I guess this would be using the royal ‘we’. I think that all just clicked into place and makes sense for me. I don’t like the answer, but hey I often don’t.

The world is a small place. I’ve mentioned this before. In case I left one out recently, it turns out the new guy in work (well kinda new, moved from Dublin too) is an old friend of a good friend that I went to college with. Like I said small world. The interwebnet is a much smaller place, I’ve just found out that several of my bookmarked blogs all know each other and the detail is somewhat scary. Blogging circles really are small.

Dear sweet fuck I’m now scared, this doesn’t make any sense at all. I know it doesn’t have to, but you don’t expect things like this, I mean you really don’t. I know that the internet is a small place but this isn’t small, this isn’t even 6 degrees of separation its ONE fucking degree.

Hmm, well thanks for sticking me with there. Believe it or not that is all the one line of thought…well not one line of thought but one area of thought. I am left a gibbering wreck lying here typing.

Oh other funny reaction of the day. I was reading Dark Horizons as I tend to do daily. There was a story there which just had me shaking my head at the screen. That’s not just an expression I must have read it three or four times and my head was still shaking. Eminem is being considered for the role of Batman in the film Batman vs. Superman when it happens.

When this first came out nothing I had read about it made me want to actually read it. But I started to hear some good stuff about Michael Moore and this book and I then planned to read it at some stage. I finished the book I had been reading on the tube on the way to the airport on Friday night and then found out that the second book was not what I had meant to pick up and I had already read it. D’oh. So at the airport I wanted a book and once your through security at Heathrow, there isn’t that much of a selection. Stupid White Men was one of the books they did have so I figured I would give it a shot. As the night went on (and on due to fog delays) I sat at the bar having a few pints and reading.

Aside from the fact that it was funny and it did make me laugh out loud in places, it was really interesting. I am very glad I read it and I will make some time to check out his movie Bowling for Columbine. I also did something which is pretty much unprecedented for me. I like having my books in good condition. I bent not one, but two pages back to mark something. Had I had a pen handy, I would have highlighted the text. I lent the book to my Dad. I think it might fit with his sense of humour but when I get it back, you will be getting those lines with some comments.

Next up, bought from a vending machine at the gate as I was about finished the above 21 Dog Years: Doing Time @ Amazon.com. Hmm this was very mixed, in places it was funny, in other places it was kinda scary and overall it didn’t really flow. The story is simple and the book itself describes it as ‘Boy meets dot-com, boy falls for dot-com, boy flees dot-com in horror’. Unless that catches you, don’t bother. Once thing it has left me, is wanting to read books about my own company. I shall pick some of them up early in the new year.

I’m kinda finished with the big crime kick I think. Right now I’m not sure exactly what I want. I have an inkling to read some hard sci-fi, go back to the Masterworks series and read a few of them. I’m also in the mood for some semi/autobiographical roadtrip stuff. In the vein of Hunter S. Thompson I guess. To that end I’m reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

There is so much out there I have not read. I’m hitting Amazon at the mo to create a listing of stuff that I want to read. Their 20th Century Classics seems to be a good starting point. I’ve never read anything by Steinback, Salinger, Hemingway, Joyce, or Kafka and the list goes on. The funny thing is a few years ago this the stuff I would have hated. I actually considered reading Wuthering Heights recently and I remember hating being forced to do it in school.

Being back in Dublin over the weekend really forced home how some things have changed, no scrap that. It isn’t how some things have changed, it is how I have changed.

It is late and while I know I’m not in work till late tomorrow I shall go sleep…perchance to dream

And now this is the point where I scare myself by admitting this…its good to be home. Dear sweet jesus what the fuck?

The Shield continues to be one of the best shows out there. Channel 5 just showed the last episode of the first season and I will so be buying this when it comes out on DVD early next year. A quick google has shown the second season does not start in the US until January which would in turn mean it won’t hit the screen here for at least 4 months after that. I think I shall see what I can do about not waiting…

The flight back wasn’t bad. Delayed by around 40 minutes. Only real complaint about BMI is the lack of information provided about delays, everything else was fine. I got home with literrally two minutes till The Shield kicked off. Brought back some proper Irish crisps and choclate. This is a good thing.

Didn’t actually do much over the weekend, went out for lunch today in a new place in the village and that was it. Sorted out some bits and pieces of my stuff and then went to the airport.

Fuck I hate spam so much. I just checked an email address I completly forgot I had and have had for 4 years or so and there is close to 6mb of spam waiting for me. Handy tip in cases like this webmail allows you to just see the sender and subject line and mass deletion is pretty easy. I wish companies would let you kill off old email addresses I would rather have everything bounce.

5 Year old email from an ex-girlfriend. I was thinking about that time a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t even remember her last name.
4 year old email from a good friend no longer with us.
4 year old flame wars.
3 year old email from another ex-girlfriend who I had forgotten I had gotten on so well with.

Jesus, ctrl+a followed by delete is so very tempting. I am not the person I was for any of these emails and I have not been for a while. Then again I am not the person I was yesterday.

Fuck me, so many old names scrolling past me. My how much has changed by now. I’m in two minds really, part of me wants to go through everything and read it, part of me wants to kill it all. Either way it really does show what difference a few years can make.”Web-based Geo-spatial Digital Libraries”…. that one gets a what the fuck at 10 out of 10 as of course does “anything else or is that it??”

On a seperate but somewhat releated note I have a problem. Well I have many of course, but I have one lurking at the forefront of my brain for the past couple of days. For how long does one have to pay for their ‘mistakes’? Oh yes of course the flipside of this is how long do make someone pay for their mistakes?

I was in a bar in town with a friend once. I believe it was The Bridge on West Mooreland Street. We were having a chat and a couple of beers. I think we were mainly talking about comics, he introduced me to quite a lot of Image stuff way back when. Sometime during the evening my mobile rang. I answered it and spoke to the person on the other end for a while. While I was on the phone, Russel was carrying on a converstion with me… well he was more taking the piss but hey. He wanted to know what time I was going to meet her at and what the room number was. Pretty much the usual grief you can give a mate while they are on the phone. I am reminded of that night at the moment. It amused me.

Fog over Heathrow lead to lots of delays. I didn’t actually land in Dublin until a quarter to one. So it was pretty much straight home and to bed.

Saw some family today and wandered around the city centre for a while. Going to head into the village for a couple of pints in my old local. Othe than that, no real plans. Lots of things have changed around here. The whole house has been redecorated including my old room and its nothing like I left it.

Hmm going now.

Starsailor in the Astoria in the first week of Febuary.

When boyhood’s fire was in my blood,
I read of ancient freemen,
For Greece and Rome who bravely stood,
THREE HUNDRED MEN AND THREE MEN.
And then I prayed I yet might see,
Our fetters rent in twain,
And Ireland, long a province, be
A Nation Once Again.

And from that time, through wildest woe,
That hope has shone, a far light;
Nor could love’s brightest Summer glow
Outshine that solemn starlight:
It seemed to watch above my head
In forum, field and fane;
Its angel voice sang round my bed,
“A Nation Once Again”

It whispered, too, that “Freedom’s ark
And service high and holy,
Would be profaned by feelings dark
And passions vain or lowly:
For freedom comes from God’s right hand,
And needs a godly train:
An righteous men must make our land
A Nation Once Again.

So, as I grew from boy to man,
I bid me to that bidding –
My spirit of each selfish plan
And cruel passion riding;
For, thus I hoped some day to aid –
Oh! can such hope be in vain?
When my dear country shall be made
A Nation Once Again.

—
Why? For 800 years opression.

Some things just have to be done.

BBC World’s Top Ten.

I hate travelling. Well, no that’s not true really, I’m just never fully prepared for it. I’m going to Dublin tomorrow night. While I was able to lay my hands on my passport pretty easily, finding the damn plane tickets was a whole other story. In the course of getting ready I realised I still have not completely unpacked from Japan. I really should get around to that at some stage soon. I don’t have to bring much for the trip, a couple of days worth of clothes and some other bits and pieces. I think I’m pretty much ready now, just have to grab my camera and one of my last bottles of sake to have with my parents and I’m done. I have of course forgotten something but fuck it, I shall live.

My eye is really getting to me.

I have been listening to Adore by The Smashing Pumpkins. This is a truly great album and brings back a lot of memories.

2002 Year-End Google Zeitgeist. Pretty fascinating. I think Google is a place I would like to work, the entire company ethos seems to be “hey that sounds cool, go do it”.

So very tired.

I’m reading LA Requiem by Robert Crais. It’s not bad although the plot is a little weak, it is written well enough to keep my happy. Should finish it on the flight tomorrow. Must throw in something new to start on then.

Mac Addicts to the Rescue. Fuckin’ nice one, well done that man.

I had some thoughts over the weekend, I had quite a few in fact. They all lead to the same place and as a result I decided that I would move this blog and hide it away somewhere so that I could write a little more freely about the things that were bothering me.

It did not work.

I have barely blogged over the last couple of days because I just couldn’t be bothered. I’ve not removed or edited anything, the last few posts are all it has been.

At this point, I’d just like to clarify a thought as best I can. I know at least one person will get this because I have talked to her about it, the rest I hope you just bear with me. I don’t write for my audience, but I know they exist. (And yes I just realised I used the phrase my audience and yes it sounds strange). I check the stats on the site a couple of times a week, mainly for referrers, just to see who is mad enough to link to something here and to see where people are coming from.

But I have this idea which I just can’t get away from that writing for myself is not really worth anything. It has to be out there and available for someone to read. It is a little wrong-headed as ‘The V’ would put it, but it just is.

So abnormal service as now resumed. Welcome to the circus.

I have not yet decided what to do about the other stuff, it will not be going here that is for sure. Time will tell I guess.

Very quick update then.
I wanted to see The Cranberries playing in Hammersmith this week. Tickets were sold out when I tried to get a hold of one. On Monday an email came around in work saying two were available free of charge to the first person who asked. I was the first person. This made me happy and I saw them on Tuesday night. Really good gig. We were about 10 rows from the stage and on our feet the entire night. I shall certainly make a point of booking tickets next time they play.

I am both annoyed and disappointed over Lord of the Rings. I had a ticket in my hand and then I didn’t. I guess I understand why, but I don’t know why. I shall live and just have to see it next week. Hopefully we will get a private screening for the whole company again next week anyway.

My left eyelid is quite badly swollen and is really getting to me. I have no idea what happened. I woke up with it like that yesterday morning and it only seems to be getting worse. I hope it clears up soon.

I have argued with Moveable Type some more. There appears to be a problem with readyhosting and some cgi headers. I do not believe this will ever work for me.

I’ve not slept much recently, 4 hours or so a night, which is not good and I’m sure led me to sleeping through my alarm this morning and being very late for work.

Tonight was a technology night out for dinner and I had quite a good time. The food was alot better than I expected, the company was good and the beer was flowing.

And finally, from ‘The V’, a very quickly put together listing of (and I love this category name): Top ten comics without many pictures (or books as I believe they are called). The idea is to list “your personal Top Ten Novels Published In The English Language. Ever.”. My listing did have some thought put into it and I have not gone with my favourite books (that is not to say that some or all of these do or do not fall into that category) but as the best books published. Do note, this is fiction only. So without further adieu, my listing in order.

Honourable mentions:
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
The Rum Diaries – Hunter S. Thompson
Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Lord of The Rings – JRR Tolkien
Interview with the Vampire – Anne Rice

10) Moby Dick – Herman Melville
9) 1984 – George Orwell
8) Star Maker – Olaf Stapleton
7) The Godfather – Mario Puzo
6) The Stand – Stephen King
5) God is a Bullet – Boston Teran
4) Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
3) The Stars my Destination – Alfred Bester
2) Magician – Raymond Feist
1) The Demolished Man – Alfred Bester

Excellent.