Little Dutch Boy

Oh yes this morning my boss was back from holidays. He was sitting at his desk catching up on some stuff. He ran software update on his Mac. Remember this?, well the Mac was still set to Dutch and it was asking him questions in Dutch. It was a funny moment.

How does it feel…?

Freudian slip or what. I typed out the title as Who does it feel before I realised what I was typing. I know get why I was getting strange looks for not knowing who Bob Dylan is. Listening to his Greatest Hits album at the mo and I never knew any of these were his songs.

I don’t know what I want to study. I has to be something I have an interest in otherwise I won’t stick it. I can’t do psychology, I don’t meet the requirements for it. That’s pretty much my top choice out the window. I don’t know if I want to do something with computers. I feel not so much bored of them but burnt out of them after the past few years and I know that’s just because of where I am and what I was doing. So I’m still thinking about it. choices are in no particular order

Media Studies
History
Philosophy
Computer Science
Management
Politics, Philosophy and History
Humanities & something
Literature

I like the idea of going with a journalism flare or something leading up to it.

Do bear in mind whilst reading this, I have a career anything I’m looking at is not necessarily something I want to go and do as a career. That is also not to say it’s not, but its not what I am going into this looking for.

At the very least its options, and I can prove to myself and to others I guess; that I can get a piece of paper saying I can do something. hmm maybe computers would be best. I don’t know. I’m looking foward to this open day to give me some ideas.

Enjoy your trip.

So I get home and I’m feeling a little tired. I go to bring my stuff upstairs and what do I do? I trip on the very first fucking step. I suspect my foot will be a little swollen in the morning. Damn it.

Lots of thoughts going on at the moment.

Don’t you want me baby?

The site is back up, hopefully my mail will follow through shortly.

In a shock twist of events I have actually followed through on something I blogged about. I have a half day on Thursday to go to a college open day. I have also spoken with my boss and we can move my working times to suit any course I want to do.

The thought of going back to college is now officially scaring me but could be very cool. I must have a chat with HR as well. It would seem we might have some helpful policies in place.

whoo whoo.

I know who I want to take me home.

There are a couple of lines in True Love Waits by Radiohead which I was reminded of yesterday.

I’m not living
I’m just killing time.

It struck a chord. I’m in that kinda feeling at the moment. I’m existing, I’m not living. Looking around nothing is how I want it to be. I’m not really happy in anything that I’m doing. More and more I’m looking for an escape out of my little world, a couple of weeks ago it as crime novels, the last couple of weeks its been music and all the time in the background there are comics.

The thought of everything being status quo tomorrow isn’t a new one, its always been like that. I’m am amazed that it is now September. I imagine I am not alone in thinking that it cannot be coming to a year on from the events of September 11th but it is. Another year of my life has passed and I haven’t really got all that much to show for it. The thought that I have over forty years of working ahead of me is not a nice thought, the very thought it could be where I am now is just unacceptable. I don’t even know how that would work if and when I progress up through the company.

For the past six weeks or so in my local tube station there has been an ad up for people wanted to crew a six week around the world sailing event. I stopped to note down the details during the week. The idea of quitting my job and going and living that life for a while is so very appealing. I actually did give it some serious thought. Unfortunately I suspect their first criteria for crew would be a high level of fitness so that excludes me already.

I know I’ve said this before, maybe not here but to myself anyway; I want more education. I want to learn about stuff I use to think it was computers these days I’m not so sure. I don’t honestly know what I want to do. Getting a piece of paper of some sort is important to me. It might be a misplaced goal, but it was something I should have done before and I didn’t.

I studied some psychology in my time in college and it is something that has always fascinated me. Realistically its not for me, I don’t have the people skills to even start and I’m no where near smart enough to go and do it…actually that last one might not be true but don’t have in any way a good memory and I believe that would hold me up. But the reason for this line of thought is college term is coming up and I’m pretty close to qualifying as a “mature student” (at least by Irish requirements anyway) and I really do mean go to and look into that over here. To go somewhere at night and actually do a course and get a formal qualification would just rock. I think I’d be better at it now. I think I’d actually sit down and do the work required but I’m just not sure. Still if I fuck up this time, at least it will be my problem and me loosing money. Note to self check out some websites about it during the week. If I could sort something out to start in this college term that would be really really cool. Note to self talk to some work people about this in the morning too.

I’m pretty damn sure I’m too young to be having a mid-life crisis.

I can’t get my email. I’m quite annoyed. My site appears to be offline as does the website for my host provider.

Where have all the good girls gone?

So within the past week or so I’ve spoken with two good friends who I don’t normally get a chance to talk with. They both live in the US and the six hour time difference among other things gets in the way.

Earlier today I was sitting here online and my mobile started to ring. There was no number being displayed and I wasn’t bothered to answer it. Pretty much anyone ringing on my mobile I should have a number stored for and it will show up. I just wasn’t in the mood to find out who else it could be…except I had forgotten that people ringing from the US won’t show up on it.

So anyone I checked the voicemail that had been left and it was a friend in DC. Sent her a quick mail and she rang back (oops). We chatted for a bit, not really about anything much that was mainly my fault. Other than being caught off guard by the call I wasn’t really in a talkative mood. One thing she did ask and its a fair question was why was I booking all these concert tickets if I was suppose to be going to the US. Well, I’m not going to not book them in case everything gets sorted out before them, when it does get sorted if it causes problems with the dates I can work something out in work.

On that kinda note, she also mentioned recently that I was talking about music a lot more recently and yes I have been. It got me to thinking again about the fact that I don’t usually see much live music. I don’t know why that is. I’ve never been to a bad gig, never had any problems or anything. I quite happily paid £60 plus for entrance to sci-fi cons and then at least another £50 on that just for stuff there. So £30 for a ticket to a gig isn’t all that bad. Although I suspect that Springsteen could be pricey but ah well I can afford it.

But back to the talking topic, its kinda strange. I’ve been thinking over the past few days that it’s been a while since I sat down and talked to someone about stuff. Not just things in general but stuff. (Isn’t stuff a great coverall word?). Its something I should do but the chance just never really came around with anyone yet and I was kinda out of it earlier today.

I noticed something about another friend recently aswell and I don’t know if it was just because we hadn’t talked about stuff (see I’m doing it again) in a while or if it was a general change but she was way more open than I had ever noticed before. In fact she was a tad more open than I would normally be use to (no comments from the peanut gallery please). I really do wonder if that is me, but it was interesting and something worth thinking about. The words “me too” are sometimes hard to say.

I’ve been meaning to write a post about phrases for a while and when I was talking with another friend earlier in the week she used a phrase that was something I meant to talk about. Listen for yourself or someone else using the phrase “yeah..no” in conversation. Then ask yourself if it made any sense at all. More to come on that at some stage. I’m going to go and sleep now, oh and yes we have broadened from music to pop culture or indeed cult culture for these titles.