Please don’t read anything into what you are about to read mmm-kay?

So lets court a little controversy, I’m in favour of suicide.

There, that’s that. I have been for a long time and I’ve been meaning to mention it for a while but it’s never seemed like the right time…not sure there is one tho. Anyway I think it’s a good thing. I have no problem at all with someone who is so unhappy and so unhopeful for the future that they are prepared to kill themselves doing so. Of course there is a chance that said person will come out of it ok and get on with their life and be happy but if they don’t want to take that chance, that’s also fine by me.

I have no idea what the source of this is but something which stuck with me for a long time is a line which goes something like this:
You are not allowed to kill yourself if there is a single person in the world who cares about you.

I think it’s a good line, it makes sense and it’s even kinda fair. It’s about the only single argument against topping oneself I can come up with. The affect on others is harsh to say the least. It’s also probably worth pointing out that I don’t know anyone who has actually killed themselves, and I know very few people who have been affected by suicide. It’s just something I have an opinion on and so it sits here.

For the record I have never seriously considered suicide…and for those of you who ponder over the word seriously, don’t, I never did 😉

Flippant, Moi? Yes, perhaps but then again this is the place for it.

In closing, I may not be the happiest I have ever been in my life (ha, ya know it would take some thinking to figure out when that was) but I have been worse and I’m no-where near miserable enough to kill myself.

This post I am immensely pleased to note was brought to you by Garbage’s Version 2.0 which I have not heard in years and years. And damn but Shirley Manson is hot.

Wednesday’s are generally allright in work. The morning is taken up by 3 meetings which are generally not that bad. The team meeting is usually entertaining at the least and we often just chat for a while after the work stuff is wrapped up which I like.

I am so close to posting a name and expanding on it and trying to type stuff but I really don’t think I’m a strong enough person to do so and leave it be.

I should sleep now, perchance to dream…

Again I feel the urge to type and again I have little to say.

Package from Iceland arrived today, the stuff is really nice and seems to be good quality. So I’m quite pleased with that. Rather sadly I’m also please that it came in a sliver envelope with an Eve sticker on it…

God I still love the internet so much. I’ve lost two albums, one of them for a good while now. Luckily I can have a backup of them and I have replaced both of them till I find the original discs. Nerdy.

*sigh* Meetings are rarely fun and actually I shall leave it at that.

Going out tonight to play pool with some of the V down by Victoria station, it should be interesting. A few beers anyway and a small amount of bad pool playing as usual.

Lunch now…

I have an urge to type but I don’t know what.

– I read a book already today, first of the Hornblowers in the next series.
– Went for dinner in the Firkin with Rich and Nick after work today.
– I just broke 25 million ISK in Eve.
– This afternoon has kicked off some live Frames collecting. They encourage bootlegs … yay!
– Smallville wasn’t bad, finally wrapped up the Adam Knight thing but boy they really messed up him not being Batman.
– I’m watching Prozac Nation, god Christina Ricci is hot. She use to be so much hotter, going for the stick figure look doesn’t suit her that much. Movie is excellent so far, will give up soon to sleep and watch the rest tomorrow I think
– Yay, another day in work tomorrow, yay.
– I think I need some more Lou Reed.
– Actually I need some more music in general, some real good stuff.

I have so much love in my heart for the internet. I wanted to find the lyrics for The Pixies’ Debaser so a quick google was in order. Seconds later I had the lyrics, some comments on them with an explanation of the French phrase and a note that The Frames had covered it. Less than 90 seconds later, an mp3 of The Frames cover was sitting on my desktop. How fucking cool is that?

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling quite wrecked. There was a stupid amount of stupid cocktails in stupid testtubes shot on Saturday afternoon, early in the fucking day and it was a really bad idea. So once everyone left the flat I figured I need to go and do something and not just stay around and play Eve all day. Cinema was the plan and I had a look see what was on. 21 Grams was the choice as I really really felt in the mood for a drama about life and death…which I thought it was. It was more of a thriller, trying a little too hard to be slickly directed but still enjoyable with an awesome cast. Sean Penn show’s that despite stealing Bill Murreys award he deserves an Oscar and Bienco Del Toro giving a really top performance also well deserve of an Oscar nomination but I don’t know why it was in a supporting role and not lead…and while checking them out on IMDB I note that Naomi Watts was also nominated for her most excellent performance. So, yes a good cast.

I ordered some gear from the Eve shop last week, split an order with Dave to save on some postage. I was rather amazed to receive an email on Friday telling me that it had been delivered. Of course I get into work today and it’s not here. I suspect that “delivered” and “soon” are the same word in Icelandic. And lo and behold an email comes back confirming my theory.

Readyhosting were hacked over the weekend, not all sites but many so that’s what you saw for a while on Sunday if you were trying to look here… Most of it is back up but I still need to get a main page back. I’ve also just looked at my stats for the first time in a long while…some of them are a little odd. Something to bear in mind I guess.

Lets see, not really much other than that. I may take the bus home so I can sit there and read and listen to some music. Then I shall autopilot around Eve reading away.

I have finally been to the post office 364 days to the date I promised this stuff…man I am so very shit. I fucking hate the post office too. It took me 30 minutes to get there and back and it’s less than 5 minutes from door to door.

In what has just become one of the day’s high points, in an IM conversation with my boss I told him that I was waiting on some information and that another member of my team was chasing the girl with the info, her name is Amy. Highly amused that I typed it out and then realised. Man I have had the urge to watch it again for a while now, I think that may just have sealed the deal.

I had to run out at lunchtime and buy the next Hornblower book as I finished the last one at around 1am last night.

So tonight was excellent, some of the usual V dsyfunction but overall excellent. A good weekend all in all to date!

So yesterday overall was good. There were some bad moments in the morning/afternoon. The first day I actually had off in a long time with nothing to do and nothing to worry about, I didn’t need work pinging me about something which doesn’t even qualify as a minor issue. It was a pisser.

So I headed down Camden to do some stuff. Picked up a small bit of music, Jeff Buckley’s Grace, The Who’s Ultimate Collection, Ramones by The Ramones and then moved onto a few books. Hornblower as mentioned is still going great and looking forward to some of the other stuff but more on them as I get to them.

On the way back home I went into Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato and apple cinnamon muffin (which was really really good) and read for a while. It was fairly empty and I considered life the universe and everything for a short time too.

The afternoon was pretty much just Eve and some reading and then onto V Club which as already mentioned was really good fun. The last clubbing was Friday 16th November 2002 fact fans! And yes there was Abba last night too. I suspect on the basis of this I shall be attending B-Movie next week and will be heading back to the Underworld at some stage.

Today is another all day V-DU in the Ben Crouch. It kicked off about 2 hours ago, I’m going to head in there shortly. Looking forward to it, lots of people out and the promise of ROCK at the end of the night is always a good thing.

However I cannot hear. My ears are still ringing badly from last night and show no sign of clearing up. Having a shower today was so nice. It was badly needed too but it’s always nice to go from an after being out state to a nice and clean showered state. See there, that’s what we call drift.

I think, I think I like this:

The last time I went clubbing, I was in Tokyo and I was debating about sleeping with my sisters best friend. Billie Jean was a major event that night too

Tonight was excellent. Billie Jean into Jump Around into Smells like Teen Spirit was just genius and ending the ROCK with The Pixies’ Debaser was so perfect it was unbelieveable. An excellent night and one which calls to be repeated.

Note for future reference, do NOT repeat NOT wait until walking home with flatmate to mention the really cute redhead dancing next to us all night…flatmate then asks “oh the cute one who was smiling at us all night?”…and of course I had seen this but dismissed it as an overactive imagination. Damn me! She was really cute. God I’m such an idiot.

Back in the reading groove, 215 pages and counting since 2pm today. Got a Hornblower 3 in 1 and have already read the first one and enjoyed the hell out of it. Will take it to bed shortly and kick off the next one.