{"id":3218,"date":"2003-09-16T23:32:00","date_gmt":"2003-09-16T23:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2003\/09\/16\/i-never-meant-to-hurt-you\/"},"modified":"2003-09-16T23:32:00","modified_gmt":"2003-09-16T23:32:00","slug":"i-never-meant-to-hurt-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2003\/09\/16\/i-never-meant-to-hurt-you\/","title":{"rendered":"I never meant to hurt you."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a long day. Much of it not good and I don&#8217;t know how any of it is going to change. I&#8217;ve got a lot on my plate tomorrow and while I know where to start with some of it but for a lot of it I&#8217;m going to be running around in the dark. Still some of it should be fun.<\/p>\n<p>Not likely.<\/p>\n<p>Um it&#8217;s pretty much the embodiment of same shit different day these days. SSDD. I&#8217;m tired, stressed and overworked. I&#8217;m possibly worried more about stuff than I should be but I have a horrible feeling I&#8217;m badly fucked but I think it&#8217;s just an over reaction to everything going on.<\/p>\n<p>Friendster is taking off again thanks in no small part to V Idol which is exactly what it sounds like. Went from 8k in my network to 80k just by adding a small amount of the V folk.<\/p>\n<p>I have to find something to do. Some sort of actual hobby, preferably something which keeps me out for a while but also does not break the bank.<\/p>\n<p>No reading tonight, straight to bed shortly. This morning I don&#8217;t remember turning off my alarm. I remember waking up pretty much in a panic thinking it was late in the morning. Turns out it wasn&#8217;t but it was enough to have me run a little late. This whole train business is great tho. I was home after having been to the shop for dinner and walking from Clapham Junction by 6.50 tonight. I&#8217;m usually lucky to be in by that time. Drop the walk and shop and I could have been home by 6.30. It&#8217;s all good.<\/p>\n<p>No dreams lately, just too tired I guess. Some random thoughts about people I knew lifetimes ago and yes a few longings for such lifetimes ago leading to that thought, if you could start over again &#8220;a million miles away&#8221; ( I just watched the video for <i>Hurt<\/i>) what one thing would you change?<\/p>\n<p>I haven&#8217;t got a fucking clue. I can think of three major things off the top of my head and more every second I think about. Hmm no regrets and all that crap eh?<\/p>\n<p>So to break things up, here are some lyrics. They are from the excellent collaboration between The Chemical Brothers and The Flaming Lips; <i>Golden Path<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>as i walked along<br \/>\nthe supposed golden path<br \/>\ni was confronted<br \/>\nby mysterious spectre<br \/>\nhe pointed to the graveyard<br \/>\nover on yonder hill<br \/>\nI paused in cosmic reflection<br \/>\nconfused on wondering<br \/>\nof how i came to die<br \/>\nhm&#8230;<br \/>\ni was confused<br \/>\ncoz if i was dead<br \/>\nhow and why did i die<br \/>\nand i composed myself<br \/>\nand decided i should face it<\/p>\n<p>then i stood paralized<br \/>\non the supposed golden path<br \/>\nand i was confronted<br \/>\nby powerful demon force<br \/>\nand there was the devil<br \/>\nand we spoke his words<br \/>\nflowed like glowing lava from the mouth of a volcano<br \/>\nand i said:<br \/>\nhelp me, lord!!<br \/>\ni found myself in some kinda hell<br \/>\nbut i did not believe in heaven and hell<\/p>\n<p>world in opposites kind of reality<br \/>\nbut i gained control of myself<br \/>\nand decided to press on<\/p>\n<p>as i walked along<br \/>\nthe supposed golden path<br \/>\nI was trembling with fear<br \/>\nall the lions and the wizards yet to come<br \/>\ni seen in the distance<br \/>\nsilver mountains rising high in the clouds<br \/>\nand a voice from above did whisper<br \/>\nsome shining answer from the moon(?)<\/p>\n<p>please forgive me<br \/>\ni never meant to hurt you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a long day. Much of it not good and I don&#8217;t know how any of it is going to change. I&#8217;ve got a lot on my plate tomorrow and while I know where to start with some of it but for a lot of it I&#8217;m going to be running around in the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2003\/09\/16\/i-never-meant-to-hurt-you\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;I never meant to hurt you.&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3218"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3218\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}