{"id":4460,"date":"2002-05-25T13:12:00","date_gmt":"2002-05-25T13:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2002\/05\/25\/funny-enough-to-share\/"},"modified":"2002-05-25T13:12:00","modified_gmt":"2002-05-25T13:12:00","slug":"funny-enough-to-share","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2002\/05\/25\/funny-enough-to-share\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny enough to share"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke&#8217;s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there&#8217;s nowhere to go but straight down.<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;He told me enough! He told me you killed him!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;No! I am your father!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;No, it&#8217;s not true! It&#8217;s impossible.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Search your feelings; you know it to be true.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;NO!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;Threepio?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;No.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn&#8217;t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;I destroyed your precious Death Star!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;Well, it&#8217;s not my fault.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Oh, here we go. &#8216;Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy&#8217;s the Dark Lord of the Sith .. waahhh wahhh!'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;Shut up.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;You&#8217;re a slacker! By the time I was you&#8217;re age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>LUKE: &#8220;I used to race my T-16 through Beggar&#8217;s Canyon!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;I was wrong. You&#8217;re not my kid. I don&#8217;t know whose you are, but you sure ain&#8217;t mine.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.<\/p>\n<p>Darth Vader looks after him.<\/p>\n<p>DARTH VADER: &#8220;And get a haircut!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke&#8217;s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there&#8217;s nowhere to go but straight down. DARTH VADER: &#8220;Obi &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/2002\/05\/25\/funny-enough-to-share\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Funny enough to share&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4460"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4460"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4460\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davebushe.net\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}